Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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