If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm experimenting with sincerity
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
