"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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