yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
