i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
