i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
