the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
