...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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