of course. lets lasso hookers.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
