Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
