Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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