Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
