I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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