if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
