on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
