We're like a lot better than the average bears
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
