i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sorry about my life...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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