my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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