This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
