you guys were way drunker than both of me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
