Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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