Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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