i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
