Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
