I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
