Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So much rum. So many feels.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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