I'm really into asian looking animals
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
