this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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