i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
