But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Randomize
