We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
