does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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