i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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