Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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