Me. At least after what I've been through.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
