Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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