We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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