3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
