You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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