today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
