Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
