That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
