When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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