No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
