But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
