he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
