Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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