Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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