How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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