seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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