plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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