Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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